I am finding that more and more people are asking the question, undoubtedly eager for a singular answer; one size fits all, if you will. The truth is, as we study Mindfulness and approach conceptual knowledge of it, we are finding that people integrate it with different perspectives. I know many have come before me and have attempted to define Mindfulness. I am not diminishing their efforts. Perhaps the field of study will eventually settle on a definition of Mindfulness that is parochial and ubiquitous. In the meantime, the practice of Mindfulness is something that I am quite passionate about. As such, I would like to share with you what I have come to know today. As I move out with more blogs on this website perhaps the definition will evolve. In the meantime…
Mindfulness is the art and skill of being able to direct your attention to different intentions from what you are feeling in a moment, and no matter what situation you’re in. I think this is best explained with an example. Let’s say you are interacting with your child, who has taken it upon him or herself over the last several weeks to exercise some inappropriate behaviors. Your patience has already run thin. You get a call from school that s/he has once again been disrespectful. When you pick your child up from school, it may almost feel like you’ve been taken over by a hostile force. You intend to scold or berate or basically follow your instinct of anger for discipline. At this stage, you are not able to bring a different disposition to the encounter. Your ability to exercise free will has been hijacked. Your ability to redirect your attention in this moment has been compromised. You are so angry, that no other behavior is capable from you. This is where Mindfulness comes in. The practice of Mindfulness is practicing – in the heat of the moment – to redirect your attention from what appears to be the most comfortable course of action to a different intention. An intention that will bring about a better result than getting angry. It’s actually been proven empirically, folks. Exercising an emotion other than anger will bring about a better result in the long run. Getting angry might change behavior in the short term, but many other things will be compromised: trust, respect, devotion, and long-term discipline. Anger will get you short-term results; a different intention will get you long term results. Would you like to have the freedom to choose in the moment?
This is the practice, art, and study of Mindfulness.
This is a lot to digest, so I am going to hold up here and contemplate defining Mindfulness further in future blogs.
Thank you for this. Though I practice mindfulness- this emotion of anger can be so strong. It reminds me of an interaction I had with my puppy not too long ago. I could have just said “no” to her chewing my headphone- but I grabbed her face and clenched my jaw and was overtaken by the feeling. She repeatedly went after the headphone, and I acted the same each time. There were two parts in my mind: the one that was acting with anger, and the one that said “I shouldn’t be so angry” yet my behavior didn’t change. I guess this is to say- mindfulness isn’t just KNOWING that you should change your behavior, it is actively doing so. If I stay in this mind state and not bring it into action, that habit will solidify.
Eventually, she stopped going after the headphone so my outburst did work. But possibly, her trust in me was compromised. I want to have a good relationship with her, so that she trusts me and I trust her. I will practice “pausing”. It’s all part of the practice. Thank you!
You are most welcome, Jill. It is so important to catch our bodily responses “in the moment.” That is the crack in the shell. When we can become the watcher, we are on our way to mindful freedom. We are on our way to becoming our true selves. Happy to be on this journey with you.